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I imagined myself walking up to him and telling him how I felt, though I never turned those dreams into reality. Fast forward to high school. I had a handful of crushes in the past, but I was going to encounter a beast I had no clue how to handle: It began as an odd acquaintanceship with Mike in my freshman year of high school. He talked to me about odd topics, asking me unusual questions and giving me weird compliments. Part of me thought that he liked me. Mike talked to me all the time. He seemed to enjoy being around me. Another part of me said that he was just taunting me. Mike was too thin, attractive and popular to like a fat girl like me. I rationalized that he talked to me because he enjoyed poking fun at me.

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I was a young, uncertain teen girl. I had more insecurities than friends. I wanted a relationship for love. I was too insecure and loathed myself too much to be able to understand what another person could value in me. After Mike, I tried to force it with a guy named Forrest. I thought Forrest was the ideal boyfriend. Caring, funny, talented, gentle, heartfelt, playful, passionate. He was easy on the eyes, too.

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